Tuesday, December 19, 2017

The Foreigner (2017) Movie Review

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If you're expecting me to say something nice about The Foreigner, please do us both a favor and click out of this review right now. On paper, it appears to be right up Jackie Chan's alley. After his daughter is killed in a terrorist attack, Quan (Jackie) is trying to hunt down the men that did it. He is willing to stop at nothing to get his revenge.

The formulaic aspect of the film ruins the entire experience. Here's the rundown: Jackie walks into Pierce Brosnan's office demanding names (Who did this????). When Brosnan is not forthcoming with the names, Jackie storms off usually doing something crazy in his departure. Brosnan sends men to take Jackie down. Jackie beats the crap out of them. When the men return, Brosnan asks, "How the hell did you get your ass kicked by this old man?"

Rinse and repeat.

I'm serious, it's so ridiculous at times it becomes almost comical. You would think with this straight-arrow formula, the film would be easy to follow, but there are a lot of moving parts and I mean A LOT. I found myself saying, "Say what now?" too many times to count. I don't know, maybe it was more of a lack of interest than confusion on my part. Blade Runner 2049 had a number of things going on throughout and it's one of the best films I've seen all year.

The Foreigner is one of those films where you think of all the other things you could be doing instead of watching it. Folding clothes. Grocery shopping. Picking boogers. Screaming at your dog to get out of the trash. I mean, ANYTHING else. Could a few solid action sequences have saved the film? Probably. Did it?

Nope.

I honestly don't know how this passed the smell test on Rotten Tomatoes. In the words of the wonderful Jay Sherman: It stinks. I give it a 42.

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