Lady Bird (2017) Movie Review

Set in 2002, Lady Bird is a coming of age story for high school senior Christine "Lady Bird" McPherson. The film follows her pursuit of college while growing up in a low-income family. While that is the main plot, Lady Bird is about so much more. Quite frankly, the movie is perfect. I haven't seem a film this memorable since Sing Street.

Trying to find something wrong with this film is like trying to catch a fly while blinking rapidly. Not only does it do everything right, it does it flawlessly. What impresses me the most is this is Greta Gerwig's directorial debut (who also did the screenplay). For someone to hit a homerun like this on their first try is an incredible thing to consider.

I won't go into too much detail here because I want you go into this with as little knowledge of the film as I, but here are a few things I loved about it. At just ninety-three minutes, Lady Bird carries a consistent pace with an ending that is just too perfect for words. It's going to make you laugh out loud. A lot. It will probably make you tear up a bit as well as it's just as much heartbreaking as it is hilarious. The acting, highlighted by Saiorse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf is stellar through and through. Emotions are captured in a way that what you feel you are seeing is something real, not a script. So real it hits home in a way that might surprise you. Finally, this film gets all the little things right. Those small extra mile touches that add a lasting touch to a film.

As cliche as I have to be in this moment, Lady Bird is a masterpiece. That's why I'm giving it a perfect 100.

Storks (2016) Movie Review

I'm literally watching Storks as I bust out this review. The first word that comes to mind: hilarious. Even now, I'm having to stop every few seconds or so to laugh at parts I had forgotten from the first watch. At just under ninety minutes, it doesn't believe in wasting time. It gives you the funny early and often. 

Lead stork Junior (Andy Samberg)is about as comical of a lead as you can get. He's one of the best storks in the business, yet it isn't his skill that keeps viewers entertained. It's his awkward lack of confidence that leads to some pretty memorable and ridiculous moments. His character is just one of many that make the film a fun family treat.

Not only is it surprisingly funny (serioulsy this elevator scene has me cracking up!), prepare to have your sensitive bone touched as well. It's touching but not in an overly gushy way. Just enough to make you say, "Awwww." Ok, so maybe my eyes glistened a little bit. So what?

Storks is consistently good throughout, kind of like a really delicious sandwich. It's one of those movies where you decided to give it a shot because you have nothing better to do and half an hour in, you ask yourself, "How are more people not talking about this movie?" It's a fun adventure about a stork trying to secretly deliver a baby to a new family.

I just reached the first encounter with the wolves. Classic. You will laugh. And who knows, maybe your eyes glisten a little. Either way, Storks doesn't disappoint. I give it an 89. 

Retro Speed Review: The Princess Bride (1987)

Having beef with The Princess Bride is like having beef with the pope. It's a film staple and you're not even an hour in before you see why. With just about everything you could ask for in a film, It's no wonder "classic" and Princess Bride get used a lot in the same sentence.

For the four of you that haven't seen the film (five before I finally made my wife sit down and watch), The Princess Bride is simply about a hero trying to rescue his true love from the clutches of an evil king. Cary Elwes stars as hero Wesley trying to save his love Buttercup (Robin Wright). He's a dashing savior, as quick with his tongue as he is with his sword. His delivery is flawless and you will find yourself cracking up just by his natural mannerisms. The rest of the cast is equally as delightful, if not moreso in some cases. My personal favorite was Carol Kane as Valerie. Even as I type this I have a big smile on my face thinking about her running into the room screaming, "Liar! LIARRRR!"

The comedy is the engine that drives this film. It's funny and in a number of ways. Sometimes subtle. Sometimes downright in your face. There are too many memorable lines/scenes to count. From "So tweasure your wove" to "Inconceivable!" to "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya..." Not only do these memorable moments come a dime a dozen, they stand the test of time.

A CLASSIC that will not die. I give it a 95.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) Movie Review

I had a couple of questions around plot connection during Blade Runner 2049, questions that still linger even now. I thought about looking up a detailed synopsis afterwards, but stopped myself. It hit me that those questions, those invoked thoughts, are there for a reason, probably not open to just one man's interpretation but many. All that being said, yes, the film is going to make you put your thinking cap on a little. It's an existential ride that is going to mean something new from one person to the next. That is the inherent beauty of this movie.

Let me take a stab at the plot while trying to be sensitive to those that haven't seen the original. In the future, replicants (think androids or something close to human clones) are servants to society. One replicant in particular, Officer K (Ryan Gosling), works on a special task force hired to find and kill replicants that have gone rogue. On a routine mission to take out one such replicant, he uncovers a secret that threatens to impact the entire world. His mission becomes getting to the bottom of things before the secret goes public. Make sense? God I hope so because I don't wanna try again.

Gosling shines in his role as Officer K, but is aided by stellar performances all the way around. Robin Wright plays his boss Lieutenant Joshi, a true tough-nut with a false sense of compassion. Then there's Niander Wallace, corporate tycoon in the replicant world. Jared Leto nails a homerun in the role with an even keel that's closer to replicant than human, almost begging the question, What does it even mean to be human anyway?

If you're a sci-fi head, this film has it all. Amazing special effects and techy set pieces. Super cool action scenes with weapons that will make quite a few eyebrows raise. Pieces of the future that will have your mind spinning, dreaming about what our world could possibly become.

Blade Runner 2049 takes you there. Memorable experience that left me weirdly satisfied and empty at the same time. Go see it. Then digest it. Then talk with someone about it that has also seen it. I give it a 94.

Despicable Me 3 (2017) Movie Review

Disclaimer: While Despicable Me 3 had quite a few small issues (and I will write about them all here), I still actually enjoyed the movie quite a bit. It's not groundbreaking. It's not going to make history. However, it's still a film very much worth checking out. Now for a little woodshed action...

The plot was absolutely a stretch. It'll do for a kids movie, but there were way too many moving parts for my taste. More on that in a sec. Reaching seemed to be a common occurrence throughout including a few of the jokes and how the film moved from one scene to the next. 

Sometimes it's alright to rely on old funnies to get some laughs. Other times you wear out your welcome. Despicable Me 3 is teetering right there on that line. It wants to give the people what they liked about the first two while trying to establish its own identity in the process. Sometimes it worked. Other times...not so much. This is what separates it from being as memorable as the first two: The first ones focused purely on standing their own while this one tried to get away with pulling some of the same old tricks. I guess you can say the series became a victim of its own success.

Former supervillian Gru (Steve Carrell) is now a family man and a secret spy. After a mission goes wrong, Gru is confronted by a mysterious man who claims to work for Dru, Gru's twin brother he never knew he had. Meeting Dru for the first time brings Gru to a crossroads in what role he wants to play in the future: hero or villain.

The film definitely has its shining spots. Gru's minions are always a treat. This time around, you'll get a taste of them living the prison life. It's a joy watching them walk around the yard like they're the kings of the roost, kicking butt and lifting weights. It's a proven formula. When all else fails, put those cute, yellow guys on the screen for five minutes and you're right back in the game. And, yes, there are plenty of other funny moments to enjoy outside of the minions. They just add even more of a spark to the entertainment value.

Expect to get a little emotional as well. Gru, his wife Lucy Wilde (Kristen Wiig), and this three kids make an extremely cute family. The kids are just adorable and Gru will do anything for them. Meanwhile, Lucy is trying to find her place in the family as the newest member. The film did a great job of capturing their love for each other.

Don't expect your world to be changed after viewing Despicable Me 3, but you're still going to have a fairly good time watching. I give it an 81.

Wind River (2017) Movie Review

I went to see Wind River having no knowledge of it, having not watched one single solitary trailer. I had heard good things, but I didn't expect it to be such a powerful film. Thank God that Moviepass gives me a chance to take chances on movies that aren't as highly pubbed. 

There was nothing I didn't like about this movie honestly. It's one of those films where it ends and it doesn't even feel like you've been watching for two hours. It easily keeps you interested from start to finish mystery, tension-building, and some surprisingly good action. I used to cringe everytime I would read the word "gripping" in a review, but there really is no better to describe Wind River. It grabs ahold of you and refuses to let go. So many layers, so many things to unpack. Yet perfectly simple. It's one of those films that stands out as fresh and original.

Jeremy Renner plays the role of Cory Lambert, a game tracker on a Native American reservation in Wyoming. His helped is enlisted by FBI agent Jane Banner (Elizabeth Olsen) who needs his help uncovering what happened to one of the women on the reservation. Lambert is a struggling hero, dealing with helping a family put their minds to rest while dealing with the ghosts of his own past. Renner's reflection of a broken man fits the role perfectly. He's confident in his ability to do the job, but also certain in his belief that the story won't end well. His mannerisms and personality discreetly take over the big screen. Phenomenal job.

There is a reason I'm being so vague on this review. I want you to go in with a clean slate like I did. Watch it. You won't regret it. I give it a 98.

Happy Death Day (2017) Movie Review

"Itttt's my birthday and I ain't gotta pick up the phone..." Yeah, expect to hear that line from Trak Kartel's "Busy Day Birthday" a lot in Happy Death Day. By the time I had heard the song twice, I wasn't really in love with the movie. In fact, my one gripe with the Happy Death Day is that it takes a bit of time to warm up to it. Give it a chance, though, and you're in for a good time.

Tree Gelbman (Jessica Rothe) keeps dying...and waking up in the same bed she began the day in. She decides she needs to get to the bottom of who is murdering her and why. I will say this (don't worry no spoilers) the writers do a phenomenal job of keeping you on your toes. Then again, I'm a little slow when it comes to movies like these so that might also have something to do with why I was thrown for a loop. I do appreciate that the movie didn't take the easy way out. It earns your money until the very end.

One of the things that surprised me the most was how family-friendly the movie is. No, you're not going to let your seven-year-old watch Happy Death Day, but it would be great for a night with your teens. There's not a lot of gore or profanity so it's a safe bet if your teenager has been wanting to break into the horror genre.

I was probably most impressed with how well Tree was developed as a character. I sincerely hated her guts in the begining thinking, "Maybe just maybe she's got this coming." She's just not a nice person, period. Then layers slowly start to peel and you understand her more as a person and get to know why she is the way that she is. Her life has been a mess for years and she's hoping to redeem it before it's too late. In order to watch a film where you're reliving the same day over and over you really have to care about the protagonist and director Christopher Landon makes sure that you do.

What comes in at a close second just behind character development is the overall tone of the movie. Happy Death Day knows what it is and it never manages to take itself too seriously. It's rare that the film goes too long without a solid laugh or two. I enjoyed the film just as much as I did Baby Driver and that's saying a lot. I give it a 93.

On a final note, this is my 100th review! Here's to many more...

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Movie Review

The action is immensely great in Thor: Ragnarok. From beginning to end, you get your taste of Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), and the supporting cast (both new faces as well as old) Kicking butt by the dozens. Tearing through monsters. Facing insurmountable odds that they have to fight their way out of in order to survive. These scenes are awesome and are just as well-done as they are in the first two films. However, what separates these two films from Thor and Thor: The Dark World is the fact that Ragnarok doesn't rely on the film's action to carry it. At its core, there is so much more than mere kicks and punches.

Very similar to what Logan and Spider-Man: Homecoming achieved, Thor: Ragnarok is a fresh take on the superhero genre. Sure it follows the same formula to a certain extent, like the stakes being ridiculously high, but it does so all its own. Even those high stakes are turned into a joke in a multitude of ways.

With rumors abounding of Disney buying out 21st Century Fox to gain more access to Marvel properties (X-men, Fantastic Four), Marvel Studios (owned by Disney) continues to churn out superhero hit after hit. Seriously, when my biggest complaint is wishing for more scenes of Hulk and Thor teaming up, you have to be doing something right.

From a CGI/visual effects standpoint, expect the absolute best. The set designs are as rich as the characters themselves. From the beautiful views of space to the fantasy-sci-fi mold of Asgard that blends both genres seamlessly, there is a lot to love and take in. Locations like Surtur's lair and the gladiator arena really help contribute to some very memorable scenes.

You expect Hemsworth and Ruffalo to hold their own. They better, they've been here before. Too many times to count. What sent me over the edge was how everyone else did as well, including the higher-billed actors as well as the ones with a mere handful of lines. Getting back to Hemsworth for a moment, he's definitely in rare form this time around, delivering punchline after punchline. Nothing forced, just his average, I'm-one-of-the-bros style comedy has a way of keeping you on your toes. Thessa Thompson (Valkyrie) almost stole the show from him doing a phenomenal job of taking on the role of a "war angel" running away from the war, both mentally and physically. If it wasn't for these awesome roles, the movie doesn't work as the viewer would carry more of a desire to be bludgeoned over the head with action as opposed to being treated to the solid five-course meal that is a complete movie.


Thor is at his best in Thor: Ragnarok as he is trying to stop his homeland from being decimated by the evil Hela (Shoutout to Cate Blanchett!). I purposefully keep these particular reviews as surface as I can so as not to spoil anything. I give it a solid 90 and count it as the third best superhero movie done this year.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) Movie Review

Watching Kingsman: The Golden Circle is like driving a Lamborghini that needs a tune up. Amazing car to drive but expect it to sputter a few times on the way to your destination. I enjoyed the film, I really did. However, there were just a handful slow spots that were unforgivable. Had those been removed or the scenes shot differently, the film had all the makings of being just as good as the first.

And I did say Lamborghini, not a Nissan. Golden Circle is definitely high octane, over-the-top fun. Continuing the story of special agent Eggsy (Taron Egerton), the Kingsmen are disbanded by the evil Poppy (Julianne) or forced to rely on their American cousins, the Statesmen, for help.

I really enjoy the ambition of these movies. It's fresh and unique, from the crazy set pieces right down to the hilarious cameos. One cameo in particular almost makes the entire movie. One can appreciate the attention to detail and the film's desire to try something different. It's the little touches, like Poppy's evil lair consisting of a whole 50's style setup, that tells you director Matthew Vaugn strived to go the extra mile and not just be a carbon copy of the first film.

I did wish there was more action. For what it's worth, the action sequences done throughout are extremely cool, hard hitting with no rest breaks. My personal favorite was the final scene, fought to a fun rendition of Cameo's "Word Up". Very nice touch that just fits with the overall style of the film.

Overall, it's clever but not deep. I wish they went more into depth on the Kingsmen culture a la John Wick: Chapter 2. Maybe they are saving it for the third film. All in all, very enjoyable. I give it an 87.